These Words shared by A Dad That Saved Us during my time as a First-Time Parent

"I believe I was merely trying to survive for a year."

One-time reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the demands of fatherhood.

However the reality quickly turned out to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health issues during the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her main carer as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every change… every stroll. The role of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

Following 11 months he burnt out. It was a conversation with his parent, on a park bench, that made him realise he required support.

The straightforward phrases "You are not in a healthy space. You require some help. How can I assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and start recovering.

His experience is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now more accustomed to addressing the stress on mums and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the difficulties new fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to request support'

Ryan feels his challenges are part of a wider reluctance to communicate among men, who continue to internalise damaging notions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and stays upright every time."

"It's not a display of failure to request help. I didn't do that soon enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert who studies mental health before and after childbirth, says men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not justified to be requesting help" - most notably ahead of a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental state is equally important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the chance to request a break - spending a short trip away, away from the home environment, to see things clearly.

He realised he required a change to pay attention to his and his partner's feelings alongside the day-to-day duties of looking after a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has changed how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now composing Leo letters each week about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son to better grasp the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen lacked reliable male a father figure. Despite having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences caused his father found it hard to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says suppressing emotions resulted in him make "poor decisions" when he was younger to modify how he felt, turning in drink and drugs as a way out from the pain.

"You gravitate to behaviours that are harmful," he notes. "They can temporarily change how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Advice for Managing as a New Dad

• Share with someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a family member, your other half or a therapist about your state of mind. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the things that made you feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. This might be exercising, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the body - a good diet, getting some exercise and where possible, sleep, all are important in how your emotional health is doing.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - listening to their experiences, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that requesting help is not failure - taking care of yourself is the optimal method you can support your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead give the security and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - processing the feelings constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they confronted their struggles, changed how they express themselves, and taught themselves to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… processing things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, sometimes I feel like my purpose is to teach and advise you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding an equal amount as you are on this path."